The Campus People Watchers staked out the Minnesota Roller girls derby last weekend.  The bout began with an exhibition match between a couple of fake teams dubbed the cops and the robbers. Let me just say those women were sensuous, rough and tough. Plus the biggest hit this people watcher has ever seen during an event occurred when one cop dropped a shoulder into a robber. The second, and featured game was between OUR MINNESOTA ROLLER GIRLS, and some random team from Canada.  The Canadians came in just as all Canadians do whenever they enter anything. They started screaming, shouting, gloating, and dawned skimpy clothing with outrageous names written on the back. My favorite Canadian roller derby name was Miss Carriage.

The Minnesota Roller Girls took a daunting lead from the get go. They had at least seven grandslams which is when the jammers lap the rest of the field three times before the jam gets called off. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry because I don’t know if I really understand it either. Regardless, by halftime, the score was Canada 22 Minnesota 118, and this sport is nothing like golf!

Half time was the best part of the night as the spot lights focused on a trio of men with tubas and lederhosen.   With their announcement of “EVERYBODY POLKA!” the crowd streamed down to the track, and an intense bout of polka dancing erupted. We went down to dance, and this people watcher learned how to dance the polka from a very special cougar (seen sexily above). She was at least 45 years of age, and full of voluptuous curves that I could trace my fingers about for hours at a time. Some things happened... and then a conga line started and I left my beloved for the shoulders of another. It was the best line of anything that I’ve ever done!

After we got our old people style dancing out of the way we headed off in the completely opposite direction; we went back to MPLS for some real hometown twerking. We people watchers went and hit up the faux rave scene at 1^st ave. I am sure that many of our four to sixteen CPW readers know roughly what “Too Much Love” is, but what you may not know is how good the break dancing is that takes place on the upper stage. If you like spinning bodies and grinding on people Too Much Love is for you. If you like Jewish men then I’m for you.